Marriage and the “F” Words — A Message to Unforgiving Spouses

Introduction

Marriage is not just a union of two hearts—it’s also a battlefield of wills, emotions, and faith. Behind every smiling couple lies a story of grace, mistakes, forgiveness, and growth. No matter how perfect things look from the outside, every relationship faces storms. The question is—when those storms come, do we fight each other, or do we fight for each other through God?

The Reality of Two Becoming One

In marriage, disagreements are inevitable. Why? Because two completely different souls are trying to live as one.

Each person has God-given uniqueness.
Both have personal standards of what “right” looks like.
They see the same thing from different perspectives.
Their perceptions of the world rarely match.
Pride and stubbornness often cloud sound judgment.
Both are vulnerable to temptation.
Each comes from different roots and cultures.

No wonder marriage takes divine help!

So, What’s the Solution?

It begins—and ends—with God.

Put God’s standard first, not your own. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
— Matthew 6:33
If evil is the problem, God is the solution.
Neither husband nor wife can conquer darkness alone. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
— Romans 12:21
Let God’s standard lead to peace. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
— Philippians 4:7
Fight evil with God’s strength, not your own. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
— James 4:7

Forgiveness: The Core of Healing

God forgives—and forgets.
But we humans? We forgive, but often refuse to forget.

Yet, what’s the use of remembering sin that God Himself no longer remembers?

“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
— Hebrews 8:12

Holding onto the past only poisons the present. Those painful memories become seeds of bitterness—and bad seeds produce bad fruit.

“A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.”
— Matthew 7:18

So why keep planting bad seeds in a heart that God wants to fill with love?

Letting Go of the Past

We often excuse ourselves by saying, “I’m only human.”
Well, duhhh! Jesus knows that! That’s exactly why He forgives completely—because He knows our weakness.

If we’ve truly welcomed Jesus into our hearts, then forgiveness should become our nature.
A renewed life can’t grow in the soil of old grudges.

“No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment… Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins.”
— Matthew 9:16–17

When we drag the pain of yesterday into today’s love, we’re bound for tears from ripping and tears from crying. Leave the past behind and let the healing begin.

Start Anew with God

Bringing up old mistakes opens the door for evil, but letting go invites God’s peace to dwell in your marriage.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!”
— Isaiah 43:18–19

Let’s stop being foolish and start being faithful.
Let Jesus take His rightful place in our hearts and homes.

Final Word

Forgive and forget.
Not because your spouse deserves it—but because God forgave you first.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
— Ephesians 4:32

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus,
Teach us to love as You love and to forgive as You forgive.
Help us to let go of old wounds that keep us chained to the past.
Fill our marriages with Your peace, grace, and mercy.
Make us humble enough to say “I’m sorry,” and wise enough to stop keeping score.
Let every home that calls upon Your name become a reflection of Your love and forgiveness.
In Your holy name, we pray.
Amen.